Unstoppable

Let’s face it: trains are not that exciting. Sure, they play background roles, like in Mission Impossible or Harry Potter, but I’ll have to admit the time that Mr. Rogers took us on a field trip to learn more about trains this little tyke fell asleep. As soon as I heard about an entire movie devoted to trains and train incidents, I immediately decided that it was not worth the time; however, when names like Denzel Washington and Chris Pine are thrown in the mix, things tend to get a little more exciting.

Pretty much the idea behind Unstoppable is that Will (Chris Pine) is a newly stated conductor working with a 28-year experienced engineer, Frank (Denzel Washington), who happens to loathe how the fresh blood are taking the jobs from the older generation. Frank spends the day critiquing and criticizing Will and Will obviously doesn’t take it well. Meanwhile a fat dullard of an engineer, Dewey (Ethan Suplee), makes the mistake of leaving a slowly but surely moving train in order to pull a switch on the tracks. While he is pulling the switch a lever on the train slips, sending the train onward while gaining speed. This train surprisingly has thousands of gallons of molten phenol (which is some product used in glue) and is highly toxic. See the fun part yet? Rather large moving train outta control? You add molten phenol into the mix and you have yourself a movie...ish.

Washington and Pine do a great job portraying Frank and Will, even if the characters are a tad one dimensional. The movie tries to have a back story with both main characters but it really does not pan out. What makes this movie great is the fact that it is actually based on a true story concerning a runaway train in Ohio that also had the phenol problem. Obviously this movie exaggerates many parts from the actual story, but the main plot is the same: stop da train before it destroys a town full of people. Many attempts are made (which drastically fail) and in the end it is up to Frank and Will (what a shocker). I’ll admit I was very skeptical when this movie first came out, yet it truly delivers the goods. It was also good to see Frankie the Enforcer (an old Boy Meets World character) reprise his role as a lumbering fat guy with little sense. There are enough action scenes and dramatic sequences situated in the movie to keep you on the edge of your seat. Most of all, knowing that it sticks very close to an actual event that took place and has a great ending should be enough to get you in the theaters. This reviewer gives Unstoppable 4 out of 5.

Content Advisory

Sex/Nudity

Not too bad. The most that happens is that Chris pine has only boxers on in the opening scene. Thankfully he adds clothes instead of taking them off.

There are scenes at Hooters where Frank’s daughters work. Although these scenes are quick, there are some skimpy clothes that them womens wear.

Violence & Gore

Surprisingly there are not too many scenes of violence or gore. There are some shocking scenes in which people are injured or killed, yet this guy can’t go too in depth without spoiling the movie. Just be prepared, even though it isn’t too extreme.

Profanity

Language is bad at times. Let’s just say they try to get as much in that can be warranted under PG-13. The f-bomb is dropped and some birds are flipped, so to speak. Other uses have God as an adjective, which clearly makes this an adult movie.

Frightening/Intense scenes

Again, there are very suspenseful scenes in the movie that make it worthwhile. It cannot really be described without spoiling the movie itself (as these scenes are not plentiful but are intense). There are exploding trains, train jumping, and even gunfire (which is comical at the same time). Nothing too far with the intensity but you may leave your seat with sweaty palms and finger imprints in the chair.

Batman & Robin

It’s hard to know where to begin with this movie. The first question you have to ask is WHY? Why did anyone think about making this movie? Why did it make more than $5 at the box office? What happened?!

You may be wondering why the world’s biggest Batman fan is ragging on a Batman movie. Well, let’s start with the center of the problem: George Clooney. Whether you like George Clooney as an actor or not, you have to admit that he tore apart this role, and not in a good way. Batman does not partake in witty banter during fights, he just beats bad guys to a pulp. Even Adam West knew this. Clooney tries too much to be cute, to be the “world’s sexiest man” in this movie. There are scenes where he just stands there and smiles at the camera. Whoever chose Clooney for the role of Batman obviously had never read any Batman comics, EVER.

Then we come to the plot.

Well, that was a short paragraph wasn’t it? Because there was no plot. It starts with a nice little fight scene between Batman, Robin, and Mr. Freeze, which is entertaining, but for the wrong reasons. You laugh your head off at the absurdity of this movie. But after the fight scene is over, you automatically go back into the “why” mode, because the next hour and fifty minutes is full of sheer nothingness. It’s like staring into a dark abyss. The only way to stay awake through this move is to count the 26, yes that’s right, 26 ice-related puns made by Mr. Freeze himself!

Joel Schumacher did his best to offend every sense possible in this movie. The weird camera angles and lighting, the Scooby-Doo reminiscent sound effects, and the movie even smells funny. Then he offends your Bat-sense by making George Clooney into Batman with a nipple suit. Batman and Robin rightly deserves its place on the Wall of Shame. 1 out of 5.

Content Advisory

Sex/Nudity

Poison Ivy wears some revealing clothes. Other than that, nothing

Violence/Gore

Cartoonish violence, nothing too out there

Profanity

3 or 4 foul words are uttered, very mild

Frightening scenes

This movie is a frightening scene, because of how bad it is. The only thing that might scare you in this movie is the script

The Blair Witch Project

When Richard Nixon had to resign in 1974 due to his implications in the Watergate scandal, it was a country’s first. When George H. W. Bush threw up on the Prime Minister of Japan in 1991, that was an embarrassment to this country. However, when Heather Donahue, Joshua Leonard, and Michael C. Williams decided to pick up a camera in 1999, it was a tragedy that no man could ever forget. The Lounge presents: The Blair Witch Project review.

With such a…unique movie, it is hard to choose where to start. Basically, this 81 minute snorefest consists of a tape found in the woods which was filmed by three teenage students who disappeared while looking for the mysterious Blair Witch. Heather (the main star), was doing a project on a local legend named the Blair Witch. She has her two friends come along for the ride as they hunt for the urban myth. As they travel through the woods they mess with an ancient burial ground and insanity ensues…sorta.

In actuality this movie is anything but suspenseful. As Brian from Family Guy put it, “Nothing’s happening…nothing’s happening…something bout a witch…nothing’s happening…it’s over…” Normally this segment of the review is preserved for the content of the movie. The only problem is there wasn’t much content at all. Most of the eighty-one minutes takes place with Michael filming, Josh smoking, and Heather whining. The filming in the woods does not help. It creates a hypnotizing feel which prolongs the movie to where you feel as if you have been stuck for three days too. Even the “suspenseful” scenes consist of nothing more than sticks breaking in the distance and Heather screaming. That’s about it. Some say that the terrible acting actually made the movie seem more real. This guy says, “Nooo…”

It must be understood that this movie was originally not meant for wide release. The only reason why it was shown across the board was because of the great promotion given to it. Clips were taken and shown on the internet as if it was a real event. This is perhaps the reason why The Blair Witch Project was the third most successful independent movie made of all time. If you are a fan of shaky cameras, bad acting, and not a lot of action, then this movie is for you. If you want to spend money on a real movie, I suggest you pass up this “hit”. I would have to dub this movie our first ever “Wall of Shame”, giving it a 1 out of 5.

Content Advisory

Sex/Nudity

Not much going there…of course nothing really happens in the movie period.

Violence and Gore

Again, not much. Some bloody teeth are involved, but still. The most violence that occurs is Heather smacking Michael. Yep…

Profanity

This is something that The Blair Witch Project excels at. Senseless cursing fills the ears throughout the entire movie. Definitely not a kid’s movie.

Frightening/Intense Scenes

During the daytime voodoo gear is found; nighttime in the movie is supposedly suspenseful. Twigs crack, Heather screams, and Josh curses. It can be considered intense at times, but it is diluted with the cursing and bad acting.

Casino Royale

Casino Royale

The Actor. Let me start with Daniel Craig. I remember when he was picked to be the next James Bond, a lot of people were complaining about him. I heard someone say that he was too old for the part of Bond. Well, he is younger than other Bond actors when they started, so that argument doesn’t stand. I have also heard that some people didn’t like him because he was blonde. That means nothing. Roger Moore was dark blonde and I don’t know why a person’s hair color defines a role. You think it would be something more like his “acting”. Daniel Craig pulled off the role of James Bond very well. Sure, he’s no Sean Connery, but he is a lot better than Timothy Dalton and Pierce Brosnan. Let’s not even mention George Lazenby. He was just plain awful.

The Movie. Casino Royale is about James Bond when he is first initiated as a “00”. The movie starts with him getting the two kills he needs to obtain his “00” status. Later we see James tracking down a bomber in Madagascar and he stumbles upon a plot to destroy a prototype airplane. After he foils the plot and kills some guys, Bond figures out that a man called Le Chiffre is holding a high stakes poker game in the Casino Royale hotel in Montenegro. James enters into the game to try and best Le Chiffre.

Considering how different this movie is from other Bond films it is a great film. Some people complain about how he didn’t use gadgets in the movie, or about how James seemed to be too amateur or rusty about things. Well, this is a movie about his first mission so he wouldn’t be as suave about things as the other Bonds. You can’t expect him to be perfect about things when he is just starting out as a government agent. Other than that the movie goes along really well. The way it was filmed makes Bond seem more realistic and human. You can see through this movie that it doesn’t have to be gadgets and smooth talk; you actually need to get gritty and dirty to get things done sometimes. Casino Royale blends the right amount of action and story together to become a enjoyable film. All in all, it is worth watching. Overall I give Casino Royale 4 out of 5.

Content Advisory

Sex/Nudity

Bond is kissing a woman on the floor, but leaves before anything is done.

He is shown in the bed with another woman a few times but the movie cuts away before anything happens.

There is a scene of Nudity where Bond is being tortured; See Violence & Gore for more details.

Violence & Gore

There is a lot of violence in this movie and it is very realistic. Some of it might be disturbing to some people.

A man is beaten and drowned in a sink.

Several people are shot.

Probably the most disturbing part of the movie is the torture seen. Bond is stripped naked and tied to a chair. He is then beaten in the genital with a knotted rope for several minutes.

Profanity

Mild language, not very much at all

Frightening/Intense scenes

The torture scene can be very frightening and intense.

There is also a scene where a man holds out a woman’s arm and threatens to cut it off with a machete. This scene is very quick, but still can be frightening for some viewers.

The Lounge Presents: Cinematic Musings

The year was...well, last year. Two college sophomores discover a gift on the side of the road-a dusty three seat worn out couch. After recruiting a freshman with a truck, the three gents took the couch and brought it back to school with them. Dropping it off in Dudley's room, the lounge was born. After minor tweaking and poster hanging, this decked out room gave these college guys endless hours of video game playing and movie watching. The next semester another two patriots joined the lounge and one left. After these many hours of viewing movies (both amazing and horrible), these four men have decided that it was their responsibility to share the gems they have found in the world. The Lounge Presents: Cinematic Musings

Our main goal is to bring you reviews of the best and the worst Hollywood has to offer. We hope you will give us suggestions for movies and we will keep you up to date on the latest in theaters, as well as some more nostalgic movies many have forgotten about. Look for the Wall of Shame section for the miscarriages that Hollywood has tried to deliver and try to avoid these at all costs. So sit back, crack open some drinkage, and enjoy